First Do No Harm
by Pari
Summary: A tragedy causes more tragedies for Christina and leaves her questioning and doubting everything she thought was good in her life; being a mother, a good nurse, and being in love
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

* * *

It was all too overwhelming and surreal, the weight atop her pressing her against the concrete, and hot putrid breath that blew right in her face, but mostly it was the feel of the sharp blade that was pressed against her throat.

"Don't you scream, don't you make a sound," The man huffed down in her ear in a hushed tone as his free hand pulled and yanked at her scrub bottoms. "If you don't fight me, I won't hurt you. In fact I'll make it so good for you baby, promise," He kissed her cheek as he finally worked his hand inside her pants and panties, and then swiftly inserted three of his fingers deep in her core.

"Uhhhnnn," She groaned out as she clamped her eyes tightly shut, squeezing out even more tears and bit back the scream that threatened to claw its way out of her throat, the throat that had begun to sting from where the edge of the blade was scrapping it.

"Fuck! You're so tight and hot baby," His voice came out in pants now, as he began to erratically thrust his fingers in and out of her. "Sssou…oh you're already getting wet. You getting wet for me baby? Don't worry I got something for you, I got just what you want." He pulled his slickened digits from her and struggled a bit with his one hand as he hurriedly yanked at his belt buckled and then pulled at the button and zipper of his pants, in desperation to free himself of their restraints.

"Hey!" Another male's voice echoed in the underground parking lot of James River Hospital. "What are you doing?" The voice got closer.

The weight lifted off of her and she instinctually yanked up her scrub bottoms and re-tied them. As she scurried to her feet she chanced a glance in the direction her attacker was now running in, before she focused on the man who stood before her.

"Hey are you ok?" He asked as he reached out a comforting hand to her, which she jerked back from.

"Yeah I'm fine." She lied as she ran her shaky hands over her slicked back hair, smoothing her hair back over and over as if attempting to smooth out her nerves.

"Did he…we're you rap…"

"No!" She said quickly and vehemently and thought that it sounded too loud even to her ears. "No, you stopped him before he could do…'that'…thank you."

"You're welcome. You should probably get that looked at," The man stated as he pointed at her neck, and her hand flew up to touch the blood that was seeping from the small scraps.

"I will, I can take care of it myself…I'm a nurse," She said around a forced smile as she tugged on the security badge she still wore. "See." The man's eyes skimmed over the name 'Christina Hawthorne, R.N.' before he lifted his eyes back to hers.

"You sure you're ok, you want me to call the police or…"

"No! No really I'm fine, you saved me before any real harm was done. Beside I didn't get a good look at him," She lied again in fact she didn't think she would ever forget his face. "Did you?"

"Naw, he kept his back to me, sorry."

"No worries, I'm just grateful you came along when you did, thank you again. I don't want to keep you so you have a good night." She said and then bent down and grasped her purse and keys that had been dropped during her attack. She then rushed to her car and entered through the door that was still ajar, shutting it and locking it. Her savior had walked off a ways but continuously looked back in her direction as if he wanted to make sure she was ok, she threw him and smile and a wave, before she started her car and raced off.

* * *

**Chapter one**

* * *

As she raced through the front door she nearly plowed over her teenaged daughter who had been on her way out. The look of surprise that was on Camille's face instantly turned to a look of fear as she noticed the blood that had already began drying on her mother's neck, and had soiled the collar of her scrubs.

"Oh my God mom, are you ok…what happened?" She asked as she grasped her mother's shoulder and turned her bit, tilting her head to the right to get a better look at the damage to the left side of her neck.

"I'm fine Camille just an accident at work," Christina said as she swatted her daughter's hand away. "Uhm where are you going at this time of night?"

"Uh…it's only 7 o'clock mom and you said I could go to the movies with Jenna tonight, remember?"

"Oh was that tonight?" Christina asked even though she remembered.

"Yeah," Camille said with a nod and she moved to step around her mother, who shot out her hand to block her.

"Sorry but not tonight Camille, it's a full moon and there was a lot of crazies out there tonight, a lot of dangerous things happened at the hospital tonight," Her mind flashed the face of her attacker as he hovered over her.

"Mom, you said I could go." Camille protested with a grief-stricken look.

"And now I'm saying you can't," Christina responded in a harsh tone her strength kicking in as her mind chanted, 'this 'is' something I can control'. "So deal," She added as she set her purse and keys on the small table in the entryway and then walked further into the room.

"But that's not fair," Camille continued her protest as she followed her mother into their living room. She jumped startled as her mother slammed the shoe she had just removed from her feet, to the ground and turned to her throwing her a menacing look.

"I'm not having a debate with you, Camille!" Christina yelled. "I said no and that's it, NO!" They stood motionless for a few seconds that seemed like hours, before Camille quietly turned and trekked to her bedroom. When she disappeared around the corner, Christina's strength quickly deflated. "Camille…" She called out softly after her daughter as her body crumbled and she rested herself against the armrest of the sofa. "I'm sorry," Her voice was meek as her lips trembled, trying to contain the sobs that wanted to escape.

She had wasted no time getting into the shower and when the sting of the hot water finally cascaded over her, she finally allowed the tears to fall and welcomed the sobs that racked her tiny frame. After several heart wrenching minutes she began berating herself.

"Stop it, just stop it. You're fine, nothing happened." She spoke to the wall sniffing back tears, as she grasped her shower gel and poured a generous amount into her hands, and then dipped both hands between her legs. "You're…you're fine," She said even though her voice cracked and her face crumbled a bit, as she scrubbed her inner thighs and then insert a couple of her own fingers inside her womb and scraped at her vaginal walls.

It had taken four hours of watching uninteresting TV, two more hours of just lying in her bed, in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, and what seemed like endless hours of tossing and turning and drifting off only to awaken in a fright, before she was finally able to fall asleep. But when she felt an intrusive probing between her legs she bolted upright and let out and curdling scream.

"Aaahhhhhh! Get away from me, don't touch me!" She screamed as she scurried up against the headboard, pulling the bedding with her, that she clutched against her body like a security blanket. The room instantly became flooded with light and her wide eyes focused onto Tom's fright-filled eyes.

"Hey baby…" Tom spoke softly his chest heaving and heart beating as rapidly as hers was. "It's just me." He held his hands up a bit to show he was no threat.

"Tom, oh Tom," She gasped out in pants, visibly relieved as she dropped the bedding and placed one hand to her forehead and the other to her chest.

"Yeah it's just me, are you ok?" He asked as he ventured closer up onto the bed with her, reaching out to her. She froze for the briefest of seconds unsure if she could take having him close to her, having him touch her, but her worries were dispelled when he finally gripped her and pulled her into his strong arms. She was immediately engulfed with warmth and felt so secure. She was safe, she felt it she knew it and it caused a low, happy moan to tumble from her lips as she wrapped herself around him, pulling him even closer. He welcomed her embraced and returned it with just as much strength as he stroked and kiss her head. "It's ok baby it was just a dream." He cooed into her hair, when the door suddenly flew open and Camille rushed in.

"Mom!" She cried out. She stalled in her steps just inside the bedroom door when her eyes befell her mother clinging to Tom. "Is she ok?" Camille directed to Tom, who nodded his head.

"Yeah she just had a nightmare."

"I'm fine baby," Christina said as she coaxed her head up from the sanctuary of Tom's chest. "It was just a nightmare, you go on back to bed." Camille didn't fuss she just gave a curt nod and then turned to leave. "Camille," Christina called out to her softly and Camille turned back to face her. "I'm really sorry about earlier, I just had a really rough night and I shouldn't have taken it out on you like that. I'm so sorry sweetie."

"It's ok," Camille easily forgave with a small smile.

"I love you," Christina added feeling as if she had to reassure her only child of her sincerity.

"I know and I love you too, good night," Camille replied as she cast her eyes from her mother onto Tom, who gave her a nod, and then she left the room closing the door behind her. Once they were alone Tom sent Christina a questioning gaze, and she closed her eyes and rested her head back against his chest before she spoke.

"Earlier I bit her head off for no reason."

"Really, then you must have had a really bad day today," Tom said as he kissed her head and moved his hand to her neck to stroke the sensitive skin there only to find the bandage he hadn't notice up until then. "What…" He leaned back extracting her reluctant body from his. "Oh my God, Christina what happened?" He asked in a demanding tone as he braced his arms on her shoulders and allowed his eyes to rake over her in a quick evaluation. Then he cupped her face in his hands and gently tilted her head to the right to get a better look.

"I got mugged," She lied and found it easier to do with each retelling.

"Mugged, when…where?"

"Right after my shift, in the hospital's underground parking lot."

"What?" Tom exclaimed in anger, outrage, and disbelief.

"Hey, hey," Christina reached up and cupped his face in her hands. "It's ok, I'm ok," She claimed and couldn't help recalling saying that very same mantra in the shower.

"No, no it's not ok, you could have been hurt…more than you were. The guy had a knife?" Tom asked.

"Yeah,"

"Well tell me exactly what happened, did he hurt you anywhere else?" Tom further interrogated and Christina inwardly cringed at the thought of telling him what 'really' happened, and a vile taste bubbled in her throat.

"Nothing else happened, some Good Samaritan came along chased the guy off before he could do worse."

"Well were you at least able to give the police a good description of the guy?"

"No, because I really didn't get a good look at him…and because I didn't call the police," She stated as she scrunched up her nose already knowing what his reaction would be.

"You didn't call the police?" Tom would have jumped from the bed and leaped for the phone, nestled on the table nearest to Christina's side of the bed, had she not gripped his forearms firmly and held him in place.

"Tom, please, please can we not do this right now, I just want to crawl in bed with you and wrap myself up in your arms and go to sleep, please…just hold me." She pleaded with a look and in a tone she knew he wouldn't resist. And he took a deep breath before leaning in and kissing her softly on the lips.

"Ok, but I'm going to see Morrissey first thing in the morning. We're getting better security down there." Christina smiled as she fell back into his embrace.

"And you know what he's gonna say, 'We don't have the funding,' or 'We can't fork out that kind of money just because your girlfriend was mugged on hospital grounds.'."

"Yeah and if he does I'm gonna punch him in the mouth." Tom said with conviction and Christina could not stop the giggles invoked by the thought.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

* * *

The plan had been to go to work, act like nothing had happened and do her job, but the task was proving to be more difficult than she had anticipated. She was jumpy, couldn't think straight even with the simplest of things, and found it too unbearable to treat any of the male patients. So finally she escaped to her office to hide out, but as she expected it wasn't long before she was sought out. When she heard the timid knocking at her door she didn't even groan.

"Come in," She replied in a defeated tone and she rested her body against her plush chair.

"Hey are you ok?" Bobbie's voice filled the room as she entered and closed the door behind her. "I meant to ask you earlier but as you saw things got a bit hectic. I heard about…" She pointed at Christina's neck and then folded her arms across her chest as she stood before Christina's desk.

"It looks worse than it really is," She waved off dismissively.

"Yeah but it's still got everyone on edge. We've set up a buddy system, those who are scheduled off at the same time walk down together."

"That's a good idea."

"Yeah sorry it's a little late for you," Bobbie said as she threw her closest friend a sad smile. "But at least the guy only wanted your purse and nothing more than that, you were lucky." Her words caused Christina's heart the clench in her chest and her breath to hitch in her throat. "Christina?" Bobbie called to her yanking her from her thoughts.

"Hmmm, yeah lucky. I was real lucky." Christina said as she forced a smile that Bobbie saw right through.

"Did something else happen?" Christina's resolve faltered a bit at the question, but she maintained her composure and shook her head a bit, not vocalizing, and Bobbie knew then that something else had happened, and it was something bad. "Sweetie," Bobbie spoke softly much as she would to a frightened small child in the ER. She moved closer to Christina's chair and kneeled down as comfortably as her prosthetic leg would allow. "What happened, were you…did he rape you?" She whispered the last part lowly even though they were the only two in the office.

"No," Christina answered a little too quickly as she shook her head. "No, the guy…the guy who saved me he stopped it before…"

"So he never actually penetrated you?" Bobbie said more as a statement than a question and she quietly sighed in relief.

"No, no not with his penis, he got scared off before he could get it out of his pants." The choice of words shocked Bobbie.

"Did he penetrate you with something else?" Christina's silence spoke volumes. "Did he use his fingers?" Christina's eyes clamped shut and tears she hadn't known were there, spilled from her eyes and down her cheek. "Oh honey, then you were raped."

"NO! I wasn't," Christina said as she forcefully pushed her chair back and stood, Bobbie rose up with her. "I told you the guy never got 'it' out of his pants."

"Christina, don't give me that textbook mumbo jumbo, you know as well as I do that being forcefully penetrated with any object into your body is rape. We've seen it too many times in the ER, women, men, and children who have been violated that way usually suffer the same way psychologically as any other 'textbook' rape victim. And we always give them the same advise I'm about to get give you now. You should talk to someone a professional who can help you through this." Christina shook her head as she paced about a bit. "Sweetie you've been violated and traumatized."

"I am not a victim!" Christina spat out as she sobbed and jabbed her finger into her chest. "I will not be a victim."

"Fine, does Tom know?"

"No and I don't want him to, I mean it Bobbie." She pointed an accusatory finger at her friend.

"You know I would never tell anything that you indulge to me in private. I never have and I never will." Bobbie scowled a bit in disgust. "And the fact that you even suggested I would, tells me that you're not yourself."

"I'm sorry, my nerves are a bit frayed today," Christina spoke more gently as she massaged her temples in an attempt to calm herself a bit.

"Yeah I get that and that's understandable with what you went through."

"Bobbie please don't start talking to me like that, and treating me like a victim. I already told you I won't be a victim."

"Ok, then be a survivor. Talk to someone."

"Am I interrupting something?" A voice sucked their attention to the door where Dr. Tom Wakefield stood with a look of concern on his face. "I knocked but I guess neither of you heard me. Is something wrong?" He asked as his eyes locked onto Christina who was wiping at her face and sniffling as she moved to her desk and shuffled papers about, purposely avoiding his gaze.

"Nope, just some girl talk," Bobbie said calmly as she stared at Christina too. "I was just offering Christina some friendly advice."

"Advice that was unsolicited and unnecessary." Christina quickly added as she locked eyes with Bobbie.

"Fine," Bobbie rolled her eyes and threw her hands upward a bit before they settled at her sides. "But if you do need to speak to someone, I'm here for you…always, even when you make it difficult to like you sometimes." Bobbie didn't await a response she simply stalked past Tom and out the door.

"Ok what was that all about? I don't think I have ever seen you two at odds, usually you're a united front." Tom spoke as he continued staring out the door Bobbie had just disappeared through.

"It's nothing, just a lover's spat. We'll kiss and make up before our shifts over."

"Really, that sounds hot, could you page me beforehand so I can come down and watch?" That brought a genuine smile to her face as he knew it would.

"Sure thing, so what can I do you for?" She asked as she settled back in her chair.

"Oh I just stopped by to tell you that I spoke with Morrissey…"

"Please tell me you didn't knock his lights out."

"Nope didn't have to when I told him my demands he eagerly agreed, the word got out about 'some' nurse being attacked last night. Seems your savior came into the ER and spouted about what happened. Anyway before I could even mention your name Morrissey told me that some nurses had already gotten to him and I think they threatened a boycott. So he said he'd just hire more security details to be station in the parking lots under and above ground, but their shifts won't start until tomorrow. So for tonight I want you to wait on me. I'm schedule off a couple of hours after you, and I'm sure to don't want to hang around while I do the round and some paperwork, but it would really make me feel better if you did…please." He finished with his puppy dog eyes and a pout that always tugged at her heart strings.

"Wow you're bringing out the big guns, the 'droopy face'." Christina said with a chuckle and Tom held the face and nodded his head. "Ok fine, I'll just call Camille and tell her we'll be home later."

"Thank you baby, and I like the sound of that, 'we'll' be home later." He spoke around a smile as he stealthily moved to where she was seated, leaned in, grabbed a quick kiss and then was headed out the door, leaving Christina to her inner turmoil and demons.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 3

* * *

"Ok, you're being silly, you love him and you know he would never hurt you."

"You say something?" Tom called out as he sat at the foot of her bed where he removed his shoes and then began unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt.

"Uh…no just talking to myself," Christina called back through the closed bathroom door, where she stood staring at herself in the mirror. After splashing water on her face and taking a few deep breaths she exited the bathroom, turning off the light behind her. She stood just in the doorway staring at Tom as he fully removed his dress shirt and then pulled the tee shirt he wore underneath over his head. She allowed her eyes to rake over his broad back and when he turned towards her, they fell to his sculpted abs. She could feel the wetness seep from her, and soil her panties.

"Hey," He spoke pulling her from lustful thoughts. "Come here," He held out his hand to her and without any hesitation she moved to the foot of the bed where he stood and grasped his hand. He pulled her up against his body, which loomed over her tiny one. She nestled her head against his breastbone and took a deep sigh as she wrapped her arms around his waist, while he snaked his muscular arms around her shoulders, and he leaned down to bury his nose in her hair. "God you smell so good," He mumbled as he took a deep breath. Christina smiled and then turned her head a bit to kiss his chest.

"I love you," He said softly and the words always made her stomach flip flop and caused her to grin like a Cheshire cat. She pulled back from him moving her arms from his waist to his neck, this prompted him to lift her up so she could access him better, and she instinctively locked her legs around his waist.

"I love you too," She replied and she kissed his neck. She could feel his growing hard at her backside as he moved them to the bed and laid them down. He allowed most of his weight to rest on his arms and dipped in to capture her eager mouth in a kiss. She moaned as she absentmindedly thrust her pelvis upward until her hot center was rubbing against his engorged member. Tom thrust back in kind and with as much fervor. He broke from the kiss and began peppering kissing down her neck and across her collarbone as he used one hand the pulled down the strap of the pink camisole she wore. Christina arched up when Tom's mouth latched onto her exposed right breast. She fisted her right hand in his hair as she used the other hand to pull him closer. She became so internally hot from the sensations she was feeling, her mind nearly lost to a delirium of ecstasy, that her body seemed to be moving on autopilot, acting and reacting to Tom's manipulative mouth. Tom pulled back and she groaned at the loss of him. He yanked her upright and hurriedly pulled the camisole completely from her body, tossing it carelessly over his shoulder as he settled back down to feast upon her breasts. He kissed his way down her body, letting his tongue dip into the grove of her navel as he ventured past it.

"Lift up," He ordered and she hastily obliged him, lifting her bottom from the bed and then wiggling in an effort to help him remove her panties, which he then tossed in the same direction the camisole had gone. He buried his nose in the trimmed, patch of curly hair between her legs, as he spread her legs to gain better access to her pearl. He breathed in deeply and was rewarded with the sweet, musky smell he had come to love. "God you smell so good," He mumbled and then twirled his tongue around Christina's swollen clit. She could only moan in reply her body seemed to croon in harmony with Tom's suckling and licking. Then her body locked up and her voice hitched when Christina felt fingers probing at her center, burrowing through her folds. "Damn you're wet baby, are you wet for me?" Tom asked and suddenly Christina found herself face up on the hospital's parking garage floor. Tears began to sting her eyes as a shaky plea tore from her throat.

"No, stop…stop!" Christina kicked out her legs in a panic as she scurried from the bed. Tom in turn leaped from the bed, nursing his injured arm that Christina had accidentally kicked.

"Christina, what the hell is wrong with you?" Tom said in a roar due the throbbing in his recently repaired arm that was still healing.

"I'm sorry," She spoke, trembling as she moved to a drawer and pulled out some sweats, which she began to put on as a very baffled Tom watched her. "I have to go, I'm sorry." She said as tears fell from her eyes.

"Go, go where? Christina, talk to me, what's going on?" Tom pleaded as concerned filled him. He stepped to her and she turned and bolted from the room. He moved to rush after her but then realized he wasn't dressed for the occasion as he reached for his clothes, but by the time he had finished dress Christina was long gone, not that it matter he knew where she would go, and so he headed out after her.

**

* * *

**Chapter 4

* * *

Bobbie hadn't expected to see the light coming from Christina's office and was quite surprised when she peered through the office door window and found Christina seated at her desk, her face buried in her hands. She knocked gently as she opened the door. Christina stilled and chanced a quick glance at the door, and then let a visible sigh when she saw her close friend and confidant standing before her. Christina's face instantly fell and a sob escaped from her throat.

"Hey, what's wrong sweetie?" Bobbie cooed as she moved closer to her distraught friend and reached out to touched her shoulder.

"I freaked out and he knows something is wrong and I'm gonna lose him, Bobbie. I'm gonna lose him," Christina babbled off, ranting mostly to herself, more so than answering Bobbie's query.

"Who are you…are you talking about Tom? What happened?"

"We…we were making love and it was wonderful, like it always is. Tom was so gentle, so loving but…" Christina paused and began pinching at her bottom lip with her fingers.

"But what? What happened honey?"

"I saw him."

"Him…" Bobbie bunched up her brow in confusing before her mind registered what Christina meant. "You mean the guy who attacked you?" Bobbie asked and Christina nodded her head.

"It was like I was in that garage, lying on my back with all of his weight on me, with his hand…"She paused again as she clamped her eyes shut, but then instantly popped them widely open again. "Oh God what if this happens every time…every time Tom and I make love. I'm gonna lose him Bobbie."

"No, no you're not." Bobbie reassured as she stroked her friend's long, soft tresses. "You won't if you're honest with Tom, you need to tell him what happened."

"No, no I can't," Christina said as she vehemently shook her head. "And you can't either you promised me you won't say anything." She pointed at Bobbie.

"We've already been over this before, you know I would never, ever break your confidence. But I still think you need to tell him."

"I'm afraid," Christina said honestly as fresh tears began to spill from her eyes.

"Afraid of what?"

"Of losing him, I love him so much Bobbie and we've already been through hell getting to this place, being in love and in an 'official' relationship. I'm afraid that if I tell Tom what happened he won't want me anymore, he won't love me anymore."

"That's silly Christina, of course he'll still want you and still love you. What happened to you wasn't your fault. You know how this goes, this isn't going to go away until to speak to someone about this a professional, and you have to tell Tom too."

"Tell me what?" A voice spoke from the door and both Bobbie and Christina jumped, startled.

"Tom, what are you doing here?" Christina asked and Tom chuckled at the question even though his face held no amusement.

"You're seriously asking me that after what happened less than an hour ago?"

"Ok, I'm just gonna go…" Bobbie began to excuse herself.

"No, stay," Tom commanded Bobbie who stood stiffly, stunned by his tone. "I know you know what's going on with Christina, and one of you is gonna tell me what the hell it is." Again his tone stunned them both because it left no room for argument, but before they could continue their discussion Nurse Kelly Epson rushed into the room.

"Oh good you're all here, I'm so sorry for interrupting," Kelly spoke excitedly as she stood just inside the door wringing her hands. "We just got the call that a fire broke out in the downtown warehouse district. We're told that there were about 100 squatters in some of the abandoned warehouses that caught fire, and they already have 46 confirmed dead."

"Oh God," Bobbie gasped out as all concerned eyes in the room locked onto Kelly.

"They're bring half of the remaining burn victims here and diverting the rest to county, Nurse Gayle sent me to find any and all that can help, we need all hands on deck for this one."

"Of course," Christina said as she stood and moved to follow Kelly and Bobbie who were already heading out the door. She silently thanked God that she and Tom would be distracted long enough to postpone their discussion, but before she could follow Kelly and Bobbie out the door, Tom gently grasped her arm and stopped her.

"We're still having our conversation later Christina," He spoke in a lower voice and she shot her eyes up to meet his briefly and gave a curt nod. He then released her and they both exited her office and headed down to the ER.

When they finally reached the ER the burn victims had already arrived and the ER seemed to be in chaos. Each of them branched off and found a patient that seemed to be waiting to be looked at.

* * *

"Excuse me ma'am," A voice pulled Christina from her focus on the patient she had been tending, who luckily only had 1st degree burns that would only need ointment, and probably wouldn't scar. "We've got 6 more patients, where do you want them?" The paramedic asked as he pulled in a patient on a gurney. Christina looked around the ER which looked like a war-zone, as she contemplated.

"Uhm…there, that corridor right there just inside the entrance and we'll take care of them, thank you." With a nod the paramedic moved to do as he had been instructed to do. Christina moved to where she saw Tom working on another more serious looking patient. "Hey we have 6 more coming in now they're being placed in the entrance corridor, could you…"

"Yeah I'm done here, we had to put her in a drug induced coma. There's nothing more we can do for here down here. But there's a guy I left in exam room C, we need to get him on a morphine drip. His entire right side is completely black and melted, I doubt he'll make it but at least we can make him comfortable." Christina nodded in agreement.

"Ok I'm on it and then I'll come help you with the others in the corridor." With a nod Tom head one way and Christina head the other way to Exam room C. She could hear the man's muffled screams as she neared the closed door. She entered the room intending to help ease the poor man's suffering but instead she entered her own nightmare as her eyes locked onto the half charred face of her attacker.

* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

She hadn't recalled moving further into the room, she didn't remember taking the seat beside the bed, and she hadn't heard the voice calling to her. It had only been the slap across her face that slammed her back to reality. She blinked her eyes and focused on to Bobbie who stood before her.

"Christina what the hell is wrong with you, can't you hear this guy screaming in agony?" Bobbie asked as she yanked the morphine bag from Christina's grip and moved to start a drip.

"He's in agony?" Christina asked with a frown upon her face and tears falling from her eyes. "Are you in agony?" She asked as she leaned in closer to his face, so he could see her better. His one functioning eye widened with recognition. "Does it hurt?" She asked as she let her eyes roam over his body and then reached out and tugged the blanket up a bit as if she intended to make him more comfortable. "I hope it hurts."

"Christina!" Bobbie hissed out in disbelief as she turned to look at her friend. Christina didn't acknowledge Bobbie as her eyes remained fixed on the man whose screams had quieted down to mournful groans.

"I hope you suffer, like you've made me suffer." Christina continued to taunt the man. "And I hope you're scared, like you've made me scared." Bobbie's eyes nearly bulged out of her head as realization dawned on her.

"Oh my God," Bobbie exclaimed as her eyes moved from Christina to stare at the man, and she stalled in her movements to adjust his drip line more, to increase the drip.

"You're going to die," Christina said as she stood from the seat she had been sitting in and leaned over the man, leering down at him. Bobbie hurried around the bed and grasped Christina by the shoulders. "It's true, you're going to die the doctor told me your burns are too extensive."

"Christina, come on let's go." Bobbie spoke softly as she pulled her friend from the bedside and to the door.

"You're gonna die and I hope you burn in hell you son-of-a-bitch!" Christina spat out just before Bobbie tugged her from the exam room, shutting the door behind them. Once they were outside the room Christina crumbled into Bobbie's waiting arms and sobbed out her anger, her fear, and her relief as Bobbie gently rocked her. The weight of everything seems to crash down on her and around her and she pulled Bobbie to the floor with her, and that was where Tom found them.

"What happened?" Tom asked as he squatted before them and brushed his hands and eyes over Christina in concern.

"You should take her home." Bobbie said as she pulled back a bit from the embrace. "Christina sweetie, Tom's here and he's gonna take you home now ok." Christina shook her head but never stopped her sobbing.

"No, the patients...*hic*... we have to stay and help…"

"No, we can handle it. You're in no condition to do anything except rest, and if you go and Dr. Wakefield stays, he'll spend the entire time wondering and worrying about you, instead of being focused on the patients." Bobbie said as she threw Tom a smile and he didn't bother to argue her point because he knew she was right. "Come on," Bobbie fully extracted herself from Christina's embrace. "Let Tom take you home." Tom grasped both of the hands in one of his and tugged them up from the floor. Once she got her bearings Christina caught a glimpse of the man inside the room and the truth of what she had done, what she would have done if Bobbie hadn't found her struck her.

"Oh God," She gasped out as she covered her mouth with her hand, holding in the scream that wanted out. Bobbie understood the panic and grasped her shoulders to turn her and move her focus from the exam room window.

"It's ok, it's ok you didn't do anything wrong. I took care of him." Bobbie reassured as Tom watched them curiously. "Just go with Tom now." Bobbie then pushed her into Tom's open arms. Christina closed her eyes and rested her head against his broad chest as he enveloped her, wrapping his arms around her while he kissed the top of her head.

"Come on baby, let's go home." Tom spoke in a soft murmur against Christina's temple. She nodded as she took a step only to stubble and nearly fall to the floor from exhaustion. Tom swiftly and effortlessly scooped her up into his strong arms and walked them out, they ignored everyone they passed who tried to gain their attention.

Once they had arrived home Tom had settled Christina into a long hot bath, where she had soaked for nearly an hour before he came back in to retrieve her. He patiently dried her body and her hair and put her in a nightgown. He followed the nightly routine he had witness her danced through every night since he had taken up residency in her bed. He put lotion on her entire body and brushed her hair until it felt like silk. Finally he put her to bed and then settled in beside her, not bothering to put on his pajamas, just wanting to be near her, holding her. They had lain in comfortable silence for almost three hours before Christina spoke in a whisper, her voice was soft but loud enough to pull Tom from his semi dream state.

* * *

"He tried to rape me," She spoke out and the words shocked Tom still, though he instantly became filled with the overwhelming urged to strike out and kill whoever 'he' was but before he could act or speak Christina continued. "It wasn't a mugging." She said and he clamped his eyes shut to the truth, he finally understood her behavior for the past few weeks, and he just lay quietly allowing her to finally get it all off of her chest. "He held me down and stuck his hands inside my pants and put his fingers inside…" She nearly choked on the words and the sobs that sudden captured her. "I'm sorry." Tom's eyes shot open and he frowned down at her in confusion, not understanding why she was apologizing.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. Baby it wasn't your fault. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry that happened to you and I wasn't there to protect you."

"No, no," She moved back a bit and reached up and grasped his face in both of her hands as she stared at him intensely. "It wasn't your fault and I know that you would have protected me if you could have. Please don't blame yourself and please…please don't leave me."

"What…God Christina you think I'm gonna leave you…I love you and I still want to be with you." She cried out a bit in joy at hearing that her worst fear had been unfounded. "I'm here to stay and you're not getting rid of me, you're stuck kiddo."

"I think I'm ok with that," Christina said as she sniffled around a broad smile.

"This isn't gonna break us, it's only gonna make us stronger. I'm here for you if you want…need to see someone, I'm here or if you don't want to see someone I'm still here."

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life." She said her eyes shining with love as she stroked his face. "And I cannot believe I almost threw it all away tonight when I saw him in that exam room…"

"Wha…wait, the guy who attacked you…He was at the hospital…tonight?"

"Yeah it was Mr. Extra Crispy in exam room C." She answered. "I wanted to," She bit back the words. "I said horrible things to him and I don't know how long he sat screaming in pain before Bobbie found us and gave him the morphine drip."

"Well you probably wouldn't have done worse than what I'm gonna do to him." Tom spoke as he sat up to extract himself from Christina's arms, but her grip tightened around him.

"What no Tom, no. I'm not gonna let you go do something crazy. Something that's gonna make you lose your career and your freedom. I won't lose you like that. Please don't do anything crazy." She begged and she knew she had gotten through to him by the way his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Fine, but at least let me call the police that guy needs to be off the streets, there's no telling how many other women he's attacked."

"You saw him, he's never gonna hurt anyone ever again." Tom nodded his head he knew the man would not survive the injuries he had sustained, but he still couldn't squash the need to choke the remaining life out of the man who had harmed the woman he loved. "I don't want to think about him anymore. Just hold me, please just hold me tight." Christina snuggled her face against Tom's chest and Tom indulged her as he encased her in a bear hug. It didn't take long for both of them to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Epilogue

* * *

"Good morning Dr. Wakefield," The head RN of the burn unit greeted as Tom stopped at the nurse's station and grasped a chart. "We hardly see you around these parts."

"I'm just checking up on a patient I saw down in the ER, he was pretty bad off I didn't expect him to make it through the night."

"Oh you must mean Mr. Fitzgerald, yeah he was pretty bad off and he made it through the night ok but he died earlier this morning."

"Oh?" Tom pretended to read of the man's chart, when truthfully he could care less about his diagnosis or prognosis, and was just happy that the bastard had died, and yet disappointed he wouldn't get the chance to make him suffer more.

"Yes there was really nothing we could do for him except to make him more confortable before he passed on. Poor guy he was in a lot of pain but Nurse Jackson brought him up from the ER and stayed with him all night increasing the morphine drip, you know taking a bit of the edge off whenever he cried out. Though I don't think it was helping him he cried all night until he finally passed on."

"Well I'm sure he's in a better place now," Tom said but 'burning in hell' was the thought that filled his head as he sat the chart down and headed out.

"Amen," He heard the nurse call out after him. Once he made it around the corner from the nurse's station he pulled the syringe from his lab coat pocket, squirted out the concoction he had mixed into a nearby trash bin and then disposed of the needle in the hazard needle box on the wall nearby.

* * *

She read the plaque on the door for what had to be the 50th time. It read 'Richmond Virginia Rape Crisis Center'. She had decided that Bobbie was right she did need to seek the help of a professional about what had happened to her in order for her to stop being a victim and start being a survivor. With both Bobbie's and Tom's support Christina knew somehow she would get through it.

~FIN~


End file.
